


I know I shouldn’t love you, but I can’t help myself

by beingelsewhere



Category: RWBY
Genre: A serious take on Enabler, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Blake is barely there (sorry), No Smut, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Ruby Needs A Hug, Weiss is a national treasure, Yang needs a hug as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22963342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beingelsewhere/pseuds/beingelsewhere
Summary: Love is a beautiful, pure feeling. It fills us completely and allows us to raise to any challenge no matter how impossible it seems. Having someone love you is the greatest thing that can ever happen to anyone.But what if it's not any of those things? What if instead it only brings pain? What if you know that you won't ever recieve it, even if you yourself give it freely. What if the choice of who you give it to is taken away from you?How do you survive?
Relationships: Ruby Rose & Yang Xiao Long
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	I know I shouldn’t love you, but I can’t help myself

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, been a while. This is actually an idea that I had way back, even before War. As most of you realize I do prefer to write angst but exploring what would happen if either Yang or Ruby loved their sister romantically? How freaking hard it would have to be to deal with? What could you even do when something like this happened? I realize that probably no one will read it since it's a niche topic, and most people searching for anything to do with Enabler are in it for the smut. But I found the idea of one-sided love to be a great thing for a short story and I needed a break from the Bumblebee one I am currently writing (was supposed to be a 15-20k word one-shot but it's over 26k and I'm like halfway) because it's kicking my ass.
> 
> Anyways, for anyone who actually reads this. Enjoy!
> 
> As always my biggest thanks to my Bat friend for editing this. Thanks to her this story is an actual story and not a name ledger (seriously the content was like 80% names).

Weiss Schnee was many, many things.

A lady, an heiress to a multibillion-Lien dust empire, a huntress in training, a sister and a daughter (though, those last two were not her strongest points), and an example of manners and ambition. She was also supposed to be a shark. That’s what her father raised her to be, at least. A quiet, efficient and merciless businesswoman who was supposed to have only one goal in her mind.

Power.

It was all Jacques Schnee’s life ever revolved around. Acquiring as much influence, power and money as possible, by all means necessary. And that’s what he ever so graciously hammered into Weiss since she was a little girl.

Worthless notions like compassion, decency or kindness were hindrances. No matter the cost, no matter who you had to stab in the back, be it a business partner or a friend, do everything you can to gain more power. That was his life’s motto.

Because if you had power, you had respect (even if it was only superficial). Because if you had power, you didn’t need silly things like family.

Like friends.

It took Weiss a long time to realize the truth. She never liked her father, never loved him, he never treated her well, or showed her an ounce of fatherly love. She was supposed to be just another pawn in his hands, a thing to show off, to be “proud of” in front of other high-born Atlesians. But the heiress realized what he truly was only after the damage was done.

You see, Weiss was a prodigy. She excelled at everything she did (not that it was ever enough for her father), be it her studies, her recitals or huntress training. She was smart and driven, but unfortunately for Jacques, she also inherited her grandfather’s good heart. A good heart which was encased in a thick layer of ice, out of a desperate act of survival.

Years of abuse at Jacques’s hands have left their marks on the young heiress. Her mother, a person who was supposed to protect her, chose a bottle over her. Winter rebelled and left to join the military, and Whitley was… well, Whitley. Weiss was, in all manner of speaking, alone most of her life. And now that she thought about it, it took her an embarrassingly long time to slither from under Jacques’s thumb. To truly understand that her father was just a buffoon, a mediocre business man, a coward terrified of losing the power he usurped after marrying into the Schnee family.

She hated what he did to her grandfather’s legacy. She hated how he plowed towards shining piles of money without a care about bodies laying in his wake. She hated what the Schnee name came to be. How it sounded like a filthy invective on the lips of all the oppressed faunus. She hated how weak she was and how powerless she felt.

So she went to Beacon. She ran away from him to have a chance to make something of herself. Something that would make her not hate the white hair and ice-blue eyes she saw every time she looked into the mirror. To become someone who she could be proud of. Someone who could one day tear her rightful inheritance out of the greedy claws of her father.

It was at Beacon that she was confronted with harsh reality of how far the Schnee name has fallen. It was at Beacon that she started to understand that her father was almost successful into making her just another Schnee. That she had to change. To strive to not only be the best huntress, but also the best person she could be.

It was also at the academy that she met the person who was probably the biggest positive influence in her life so far (maybe not counting Winter, who she deeply loved, even in spite of all her harshness). And while their first meeting was quite… explosive, and they did not get along at all, this person managed to infuriatingly quickly melt the ice wall that the heiress erected to protect herself from everything she went through, wriggling her young and earnest self into Weiss’s heart.

While the adjustment period was challenging to say the least, after almost 8 months that she spent at Beacon, Weiss truly felt like she was exactly where she belonged. At Beacon, training to be a huntress as a member of team RWBY.

Which was exactly why she was currently wracking her brain at the conundrum she faced for the past couple of weeks. It was becoming increasingly worrying and soon she would have to start taking serious steps into figuring out how to approach the situation. While at first she played it off as her being paranoid and unnecessarily worried, she was now sure that she indeed has been right from the very start.

Something was wrong with Ruby Rose.

Ruby was the young, talented and obnoxiously lovable dolt of Beacon academy. She was the leader of team RWBY and the person who would forever hold a special place in Weiss’s heart. She was her first true friend, and while after some tribulations she learned to get along with her other teammates as well, the younger girl was the first person whom she truly felt a connection with.

After the disastrous first meeting, and the first few weeks, as everyone grew accommodated to the new team dynamic, they all fell into place. Like pieces of a puzzle coming together, becoming quite a formidable team in the heiress’s own opinion. They all had their place in the team: Ruby’s endless positivity and ingenuity made her a surprisingly competent leader, Weiss made sure to support everyone however she could, be it in fights or making sure that they all stayed on top of their studies, Yang was their shield and a pillar they all leaned on when it got hard (even if her terrible puns and teasing were nearly stroke-inducing for the heiress) and Blake watched their backs from the shadows. They worked like clockwork.

Which was endlessly surprising for the heiress, because in reality they should not. They should have been a one giant wreck of a team given what a dysfunctional match they all were. The young, naïve Ruby who desperately wanted to become a huntress to celebrate her dead mother she never really knew. Yang who had virtually no control over her emotions, trying to get over her abandonment issues while playing the role of a mother for her sister (and, well, all of them at this point, honestly). Blake, a faunus in hiding and an ex-White Fang member, known to disappear. And last but not least, Weiss the Schnee heiress, an emotionally impaired ball of pride, carrying an ice-cold heart with a desperate ache for a connection with someone. 

But despite all of that, they made it work. It was rough and seemingly impossible at the start, but they did it. They all put in the work and all of themselves into it and emerged as one of the best teams in the history of Beacon Academy. Weiss’s heart beat loudly with pride over what they managed to achieve thanks to each other. They were all happy about it and it all seemed to be going perfectly for them.

Except there was a problem now.

Being Ruby’s partner and a friend for over half a year now, the heiress has become quite attuned to the younger girl’s habits and quirks, and while she had an inkling that something was bothering her about 6 weeks ago, it now turned into a certainty. Something was weighing on the girl, and it was clearly becoming increasingly hard for the young leader to deal with.

Yet she never said a word about it.

Weiss hoped that whatever it was, Ruby would come to her to talk, or ask for advice. The young Rose was not the greatest at social interactions, but she usually didn’t have a problem with coming for help. It stung a bit that even after all this time, their friendship wasn’t enough for her leader to come for advice, then again, the heiress of all people knew how hard it is to admit to yourself that you needed help.

But Ruby has been acting suspiciously, that much was clear. It started as nothing more than seemingly couple worse days for the young leader. She was quieter and more muted than her usual darting around all over the place and babbling to Weiss about some random things. It was actually the absence of the usual noise that made the heiress suspicious at first. But she figured it would pass soon and didn’t give it much thought.

Except it didn’t.

Ruby grew more silent each week and she started to stay longer and longer at the workshop, or training solo. And it was now at a point, where Weiss barely saw her outside of the classes and sparse study sessions at the library. Theywould get up in the morning, they all went to eat breakfast, attended classes and after those were over, the young leader would disappear into the workshop to work on who knows what.

Weiss almost confronted her about it after not being able to take it, because honestly it was starting to look worrying, and the heiress was pretty sure (she really hoped she was wrong) that Ruby had trouble sleeping, and she even heard something suspiciously sounding like sniffs coming from the bed above her own. But then she noticed the change in Yang.

The brawler also seemed bothered by something and judging by the glances she shot her sister, it must have had something to do with how the young leader acted. So Weiss decided it was as good of a place to start as any.

“What did you do?” The heiress easily managed to slip into her ice queen persona, voice irritated and her bitch face in place, hands on her hips, boring holes into Yang’s skull as she stood over the blonde.

“What? What did I do?” Yang asked, and the fork that was traveling to her mouth, stilled in midair as she eyed the heiress.

“Yang.” Weiss huffed, irritation growing. She really didn’t have time for this.

“I have no idea what are you talking about, Weiss, like seriously,” The blonde said, tone earnestly confused.

“What did you do to Ruby?” Weiss’s eyes narrowed.

“I… What?” The brawler frowned.

“Why would you think Yang did something?” Blake suddenly asked, putting her book down. Her tone was even, and as usual her face didn’t reveal anything.

“Well, something is wrong with Ruby, and I know you know.” Weiss turned her head back to Yang. “Because I see the looks you have been throwing her, which brings me back to my point. What did you do?”

“So you noticed too?” Yang said quieter, eyes downcast.

“Of course I noticed.” Weiss scoffed. “I am her partner and her friend, and it’s not like she is doing a good job of hiding it, whatever it is.”

“Yeah, I noticed something’s been bothering her few days ago and I tried talking with her, but she wouldn’t say anything. She said it’s all fine and that I shouldn’t worry about it,” The blonde said and her shoulders deflated. “But I can clearly see that something is wrong.”

Well, that changed things. If Ruby didn’t want to talk to Yang about it, it must have meant it was pretty serious. Weiss knew how close they were, and that they shared almost everything, and if she was unwilling to share with her sister of all people, something bad was going on.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed last month something was troubling her, but she never came to me to talk about it, so I assumed it would be best to leave it,” Weiss said thoughtfully.

“Wait, what do you mean last month?” Yang said, eyes widening.

“Well, it started a few weeks ago, she just got a bit quieter, so I just thought that she had worse few days or something, but clearly it’s something else,” The heiress said, sitting down in front of her two teammates.

“Now that I think about it, she is right, Yang. Ruby has been a bit quieter since a while back,” Blake said, scrunching her eyebrows.

“What? Why the hell didn’t you say anything?!” The blonde’s voice raised and Weiss felt a pang of guilt. Should she have said something? She was big on privacy and personal space, but was it really the right choice to wait for Ruby to come to them instead of intervening before it got to where they were now?

“I… I don’t know. I didn’t want to push her. She always came to me if she had something she wanted to talk about. I…” Weiss started biting her lip. Was she wrong? Did she actually make it worse? Maybe Ruby expected her to come and talk to her, and now she thought that she didn’t care?

“It’s okay, Weiss.” Blake put her palm on Yang’s shoulder and it seemed to calm the blonde down. “I get it. I would probably do the same if I noticed earlier.”

“I... Sorry, ice queen, you are right. I didn’t even notice before last week that something was wrong,” Yang said and they all could feel how disappointed in herself the blonde was.

“So… What do we do? We should do something, right?” Weiss asked.

“I don’t know… Ruby is not the greatest with pushing her to do anything and maybe it’s not that bad?” Yang said weakly.

“I think it IS bad. At any case, I think it’s bad enough that we should do something about it,” Weiss said, and seeing the questioning looks and tight knit of her teammates eyebrows, she sighed. “She barely talks with me anymore outside of breakfast and breaks between classes, and she closes herself in the workshop all day. She trains alone and I’m pretty sure she hasn’t been sleeping well or at all the past few days.”

“She is not sleeping?” Yang asked, concern shining in her lilac eyes.

“Yeah, I saw her putting on makeup, well, powder to be exact, but I thought she was just being… you know, a teenage girl. But now I think it’s probably so we don’t see the bags under her eyes or something,” Weiss explained, it was another theory she put up to her paranoia and overprotectiveness, but it seemed to make too much sense to potentially ignore now.

The sound of chair violently hitting the floor sounded through the dining hall as Yang shot up in an instant.

“That’s it, I’m talking to her right fucking now,” The brawler said as she was about to leave, but a slim pale hand caught her forearm.

“Yang, wait,” the heiress said quickly and winced a bit when the blonde leveled her with an angry look.

“Let me go, Weiss, I am going to my sister and don’t you even think about stopping me!” Yang almost yelled.

“I’m not stopping you, I think you should go talk with her, but I may have an idea that can help,” Weiss said, and when she got an impatient nod for her to continue, she took a breath.

“Okay, this is what we should do.”

***

“A team 1 on 1 tournament?” Ruby asked as she fiddled with Crescent Rose.

Team RWBY stood in one of the sparring halls, getting ready for their training session. It was hard to convince their leader that organizing a team training session on Friday evening was a good idea. But they all pitched in, hoping the young reaper wouldn’t notice the looks the three girls exchanged between each other. After she reluctantly agreed to do it, Weiss suggested they do 1 on 1 instead of their usual teamwork exercises.

“Come on, sis, we haven’t done 1v1’s in forever! We always do partner training or team training.” Yang grinned.

“I agree, it would be beneficial for all of us to see where we are after spending 8 months at Beacon,” Weiss said.

“I have to agree with them, Ruby. It seems useful to know what new habits and styles we developed,” Blake hummed, sifting Gambol Shroud’s ribbon between her fingers.

“Oh, okay… Yeah, let’s do it then.” Ruby smiled weakly at them, and Weiss’s gut wrenched at how empty the smile felt.

“All right, who wants to go first?” The heiress asked, side-eyeing her friend.

“Come on, Rubes, let’s show them how it’s done!” Yang pumped her fist into the air.

“What? I-Um… I, maybe Weiss should start instead of me.” Ruby stuttered.

“Aww, are you afraid of me kicking your butt? You should be, I’m amazing after all!” The blonde dropped her arm around her sister’s shoulder and started pushing her to the middle of arena. The young reaper tensed strangely under the touch and Weiss felt her brows furrow.

Ruby and Yang were both very touchy and they had an abnormal need to hug everyone all the time. And after being on the receiving end of their leader’s numerous attack hugs, it was weird seeing her flinch like that, but neither she nor Blake said anything.

The fight didn’t last very long, and while RWBY’s leader managed to hold her own for most of it, Weiss could immediately tell how exhausted she was. Her movements were sluggish, her attacks lacked conviction. Usually fighting Ruby was like fighting a whole team on your own, thanks to her semblance, the young reaper being able to attack from multitude of angles at an incredibly fast pace, and that was without mentioning Crescent Rose, which supplemented her mobility, allowing for precise long-range and devastating close-range attacks.

It took the brawler few minutes to slowly gain an advantage, finishing it with the crimson scythe sliding away from the arena with a clang, and Ruby ending up pinned beneath the blonde. She could immediately tell how bad of a shape her sister was in, and Weiss’s words about her sleeping problems rang true in her mind.

Yang slowly took in Ruby’s pale face as she pinned her to the floor, panting, her eyes frantically darting over her face, frowning at how flushed and out of breath her sister was. The blonde opened her mouth to say something, still holding the squirming reaper beneath her.

“Let me gooo,” Ruby squealed. But it wasn’t her usual whiny tone. It was quieter and seemed more desperate.

“Ruby, you need to tell me-” The brawler tried.

“Yang, get off of me.” Ruby didn’t let her sister finish.

“No, Ruby, you have to-” Yang started again.

“FUCK OFF, YANG! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!!” The reaper yelled, eyes shimmering. It was so unlike her that the blonde froze for a second, just enough for Ruby to toss her to the side and scramble to her knees as quickly as she could.

“Ruby…” Was all Yang managed, weakly, still in shock which turned into a horrible knot in her gut the moment her sister looked back at her and she saw fear mixed with tears in her eyes.

“Ruby!” Weiss was running towards them, with Blake in tow, but before any of them could react, they were left with a bunch of swirling red petals and no Ruby in sight. She was starting to panic slightly.

This was not how it was supposed to go. Yang was supposed to fight her sister, giving the younger girl an opportunity to vent out her frustrations and feelings, and then hopefully she would open up and talk with her. Something extremely bad was going on with their leader, and Weiss was scolding herself for not noticing or taking action sooner.

Normally, in situations like that, the heiress was unable to hold back the guilt and self-loathing, she would mope around for a bit, wallowing in self-pity, yelling at everyone who tried to help her, and after a week or so it would pass. What stopped it this time was the absolutely devastatingly lost look that Yang gave her which screamed ‘What do I do?’. She may not have been as close with the blonde as she was with Ruby or even Blake, but she knew one thing for sure. There would never be anyone more important to the brawler than her sister, and she would do absolutely anything for her without a second thought.

Weiss couldn’t even imagine what she had to be feeling right now.

Clutching her fists, until her fingers went white, she mowed down her own doubts and fears, stilling herself. Ruby was hurting and there was no time for whining.

“I’m going after her. Take care of Yang, I will let you know as soon as I find something,” Weiss said, swiftly turning around after receiving a silent nod from Blake.

She jogged to the door, throwing one last look at the Crescent Rose lying abandoned on the ground.

***

Weiss always appreciated how big Beacon was, even with the sea of students inside it wasn’t that hard to find a quieter, more private place somewhere on the campus.

This time, however, she cursed the architect responsible for making Beacon so huge. She figured that Ruby wouldn’t go anywhere inside, as the grounds around the Academy gave much wider choice to a potential resting place. She did know about few places their leader would go to if she felt particularly pensive or wanted to kick back a bit, but those were also low on her list of possibilities, simply from the fact that Weiss knew about them.

She asked students around to at least get the general direction, and while most of them were unhelpful, one of the older classmen told her he saw a red streak go towards the Forever Fall forest.

The heiress cursed under her breath, because if Ruby went into the forest, there was a high chance that she won’t be able to find her as the forest spread far over most of Vale’s northern coastline. She sped up using her glyphs to go even faster, praying to Oum that the young reaper didn’t go far.

While Ruby’s semblance gave her an incredible speed boost and maneuverability, it was more suited for short bursts rather than prolonged use, at least in its current form. So there was still a chance for Weiss to catch up, the only problem being finding some sort of a trail to follow. The heiress wasn’t stupid. She knew her chances were slim and actually dropping even lower as time passed, but she was fully prepared to search for her friend until she found her, even if it took her a whole night. She shot a quick message to Blake about where she went, and got one back, saying that she and Yang will go looking towards the eastern side of the forest, leaving her with the western part.

It was more of a feeling, more than anything else, really, that led her onto the path she was currently following. It was in the thick of the forest, with trees growing dense enough that they choked out most of the light. It was mildly terrifying and Weiss was glad they were training and had their weapons on hand at least. She paused for a bit, focusing on the sounds, and that’s when she heard it.

Incredibly quiet at first, but unmistakably, human sobs sounded through the thicket. The closer the heiress got, the more she was sure she found Ruby, as the cries seemed to come from an old broken tree, with a giant trunk, and massive roots coming out of the ground.

Weiss took a deeper breath and circled it, her heart immediately snapping in two when she saw a small ball of red, shaking along with the sobs that wrecked through her. With her hood on, and the cape wrapped tightly around her, Ruby looked incredibly small and the heiress wanted nothing more than to run and hug all the bad things out of her, but she knew she should be careful of not startling the younger girl and making her run again.

Taking another deep breath to calm herself, she took a few steps towards the bundle of red and called out softly.

“Ruby?” At the sound of her voice, the ball of red stilled for a second before another sob ran through her. She didn’t move or otherwise acknowledged the heiress.

“Ruby, it’s me, Weiss.” The white-haired girl tried again, slowly inching closer and again getting no response.

“Ruby, I… Please, talk to me,” The heiress said, as she finally reached the girl.

Dropping down on her knees next to her leader, she pondered what she should do. She didn’t want to reach out to touch her, seeing how she reacted to Yang’s touch before, but she had to do something.

“Hey, I’m here. Whatever it is, I’m here and I got you,” Weiss said calmly, patiently balling her fists on her lap.

“G-Go away, Weiss…” Ruby choked out.

“No.” The heiress refused confidently. “You are clearly distressed and you are my friend, I want to be here for you. Please, let me.”

The reaper said nothing more, crying loudly as Weiss wrecked her brain for something she could do.

“Ruby… I’m not going to force you to talk to me, but if you do, I will listen and I will try to help you as best as I can.” That was the only thing the white-haired girl could think of, to show her leader she was there for her.

“I… I-I can’t tell you.” Ruby choked out.

“Why?” Weiss asked, doing everything in her power not to let the hurt at the statement seep into her voice.

“Be-Because if I d-do, you will h-hate me.” Ruby’s voice wavered as another wave of sobs overtook her.

“Nonsense. I will never hate you, Ruby, I couldn’t. You are my first friend that I have ever made and I highly doubt there is anything that you could do that would make me hate you,” Weiss said thoughtfully and risked gently rubbing her friend’s back with her palm. A sigh of relief escaped her when the younger girl hasn’t flinched or moved away.

“Well, this will. If I t-tell you, you will think I’m disgusting and you will want nothing to do with me.” Ruby choked out, sniffing loudly, sobs seemingly subsiding.

“I would never… Do you really think so lowly of me?” Weiss asked quietly, and she felt the other girl tense up a bit under her palm.

“N-No, but it’s just… I wouldn’t blame you. You all probably hate me already since I am ruining the team.” Ruby tried to make herself even smaller as she talked.

“Nobody hates you, Ruby, we are just worried, that’s all. Me and Blake… and Yang.” The moment Weiss mentioned her sister, she felt the reaper go stiff and silent. “We just want to know what happened. I-We want to help.”

“Well, you can’t!” Ruby suddenly yelled out and sprang to her feet. For a second Weiss was scared that the young reaper would vanish again, but she only took few steps and stopped, back turned towards the heiress as she murmured. “Nobody can’t.”

“You won’t know until you let us try. I’m sure Blake will say the same thing, and so will Yang.” The heiress started to suspect something and she had to know if she was on the right track.

“No! Y-Yang can’t find out.” Ruby panicked, and the fear in her voice was almost deafening. And the heiress’s gut clenched, it was exactly what she was most afraid of. Whatever she was going through, it had to do with Yang.

“Ruby, Yang cares about you, she is worried and she would do anything to help you. She is your sister,” Weiss said, furrowing her brows.

“THAT’S THE POINT!” The reaper screamed as she turned around, desperately gazing at the heiress with her wet silver eyes. “I can’t… she shouldn’t… I…”

She fell silent for a second.

“I can’t do it, Weiss.” The young girl choked out, looking at the ground.

“Ruby, please, just tell me what the problem is and we will figure something out, together,” Weiss pleaded.

“I... I love her,” Ruby said simply.

“And she loves you too. You don’t have to be ever worried that she doesn’t.” The heiress tried to reassure the younger girl, but the reaper just turned her head back and forth in disagreement.

“No, Weiss… I’m IN LOVE with her. I’m in love with Yang,” Ruby whispered and the heiress could hear the pops of her knuckles from how hard she was clenching her fists.

The heiress was rarely rendered speechless, she could count the number of times it happened on hand and still have some spare fingers. She was usually the one taking away people’s ability to speak, whether it was by her impressive performances or with her intimidating take-no-shit from anyone presence. But what she just heard was easily rendering her brain unable to form coherent words and thoughts.

Ruby was in love with Yang. With her half-sister.

Oh…

Weiss stayed silent as the seconds passed, because what do you say to something like that? How could you possibly react to such revelation? This was not a situation she ever dreamed of finding herself in. Was there ever anyone who was in a situation like that? What was she supposed to…?

“You can go now, Weiss. I don’t blame you for not wanting to be around a creep like me,” Ruby said, rubbing her forearm with a pained expression, not being able to look at the heiress.

Weiss thought earlier that the ache she felt, seeing how distressed Ruby was, was unbearable. She was wrong. Because watching the devastated and lost look on the young leader’s face, and thinking about how unimaginably hard it had to be to hold something like that in herself all this time, while she was all alone, scared of losing her friends and her sister, the person who meant the most to her. It almost broke the heiress completely.

Her legs moved on her own, and with few strides they took her to Ruby, who flinched, as if she expected to be hit or something. Weiss ignored the painful tightness in her chest at the sight and enveloped the young girl in the warmest, most affectionate hug she could muster. She felt the girl go rigid, before she started shaking slightly in her arms.

“Oh, Ruby… It’s okay. It’s going to be all right,” Weiss said soothingly, gently running her fingers through the short hair as the reaper started sobbing heavily, clutching to her.

It took another 15 minutes for Ruby to calm down, and Weiss gently led them towards one of the thicker roots that they could sit on. The reaper was quiet, fiddling with her fingers, and while the heiress tried to figure out what to say.

‘Are you sure that you are in love with your sister?’ Weiss might have been inept at social interactions, but even she knew that was one of the worst things to say. ‘Don’t worry about it’? ‘It’s not that weird’? Yeah, no. Was there even anything right to say in a situation like that? While Atlas was mostly conservative, she was aware of relationships between women. It wasn’t that uncommon, even if she herself never knew anyone that was part of such a… bond. But romantic feelings between family members? As far as she knew, it was a taboo. And she knew it wasn’t the point, but she really, desperately needed anything. Just one thing to give to Ruby, it didn’t have to be much. She just needed to show she wasn’t judging or hating her. She might not understand most of it, but she could be there for her as they figured it out.

Reaching out and grabbing Ruby’s hand, Weiss smiled at the young reaper looking at her with uncertainty.

“Have… Did you always feel like that? You- We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to… I just thought that maybe it would help just a bit to share?” Weiss said, shrugging.

Ruby bit her lip as she pondered something. “No… I don’t think so. I mean, Yang was always with me, so I don’t really know how or why. I always knew she was funny and kind, and beautiful, and popular. But it wasn’t until Beacon that my feelings started to shift, I think.

The longer we were here, the more I thought about Yang, the more I started noticing her looks. I… I never meant to. It-It just happened and I can’t stop it. I’ve been trying and trying, but it’s like someone is squeezing my heart whenever I look at her, because I know what my feelings are and I know I shouldn’t have them, and I would never do anything about it.” Ruby started to desperately explain herself.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. I am not judging you or anything. I just… I’m not going to pretend I understand. I have exactly 0 experience with romance and this situation is not very… typical. I just thought that maybe if you talk about it, you will feel better, and maybe I will understand something more, and I will find something to help,” Weiss said, squeezing Ruby’s palm. “You can talk to me about anything, Ruby, I promise I will try my best to understand what you are going through.”  
  


“So, did something happen two months ago? Is that when you realized what your feelings were? Beause that’s when I noticed something was bothering you,” Weiss asked.

“I… not exactly. Back then I already suspected what was happening, but around two months ago something happened that made me realize how strong my feelings for her were,” Ruby said, bringing Weiss’s palm into her lap and wrapping her other hand around it for comfort. “I almost kissed her.

We were sparring one day and we ended up in a similar position as today, and my heart was racing, and I could feel her all over me, and I just kinda lost myself for a second. She got distracted and looked to the side and I was starting to lift my head to kiss her, but I snapped out of it and she never noticed, but it freaked me the hell out. I thought, until this point, I could deal with the feelings. It would suck and being around her was-is hard, but I could manage. But knowing that I could lose myself in the moment and do something that would ruin everything? That was terrifying. So I started to avoid her and all of you, guys. I was so ashamed of myself. I couldn’t bring myself to even think that I could do something that would make Yang hate me.” Ruby explained dejectedly, seeing Weiss’s wide eyes.

“Oh god, Ruby, I’m so sorry for today. It was my idea to make you fight Yang and loosen up a little. I hoped it would help you to talk with her, I didn’t realize…” Weiss dropped her gaze, but a squeeze of her palm brought it back to the reaper.

“It’s okay, you couldn’t have known,” Ruby said, giving her a faint smile.

“I know, but… I should have talked to you the moment I thought something was wrong and not wait for you to come to me. I’m a horrible friend. I’m so sorry, Ruby.” Weiss felt the guilt over everything devour her from the inside.

“No, you’re not. Don’t beat yourself about it, Weiss. You can’t do anything about it anyway,” Ruby said, giving another squeeze to her palm.

“Okay… But Ruby, you have to know that Yang would never hate you. Neither of us would, but especially Yang,” Weiss said with certainty.

“I do…” Ruby said quietly, avoiding the heiress and shrugging.

“You do… what?” Weiss asked, because she really hoped she misunderstood.

“Hate myself…” Ruby said quietly. “I know I shouldn’t have those feelings. It’s wrong. It’s disgusting and revolting, and I’m too weak to control it. I’m pathetic.” She continued as a tear made its way down her cheek.

Weiss jumped down and stood in front of Ruby. She palmed her cheeks, making the reaper look at her, and gave her the sternest gaze she could muster.

“Take that back,” the heiress said, tone serious.

“What?” Ruby said, not understanding what Weiss meant, but unable to look anywhere else than the two icy orbs.

“What you just said, Ruby Rose. Take. It. Back,” Weiss said slowly. “You are the kindest, most compassionate person I know. You are an amazing huntress, a phenomenal weapon smith and an astoundingly good leader. And the only thing you are allowed to feel for yourself is pride and unconditional love.”

Ruby was unable to say a word, as her eyes started watering, seeing the honesty and care in Weiss’s stare.

“You are the best, Ruby, and you deserve the best. You are my first and best friend, and I will not stand for anyone, not even yourself, to belittle or spout hateful nonsense about you,” Weiss said with conviction. “You can’t choose what you feel and who you have those feeling for. You can’t blame yourself for something you have no control over.”

“But... If I were normal…” Ruby started, but Weiss immediately began shaking her head.

“You are not ‘just normal’, Ruby. You are nothing short of extraordinary, and you will, one day, be the force for good that changes Remnant into the best version of itself that it can ever be. Never doubt that.” Weiss took her palms away from the reaper’s face and opted instead to wrap them around her neck, bringing the devastated girl close to her. “We will figure this out. I promise.”

“Okay. Okay…” Ruby said tearfully, hiding in the crook of Weiss’s neck.

They stayed like that for a bit, and after separating, the heiress took her earlier place at Ruby’s side.

“Do you… Do you know what to do?” the white-haired girl asked carefully.

“I have no idea… I don’t even…” Ruby tried, but she only shrugged in the end.

“Maybe talking with someone would help?” Weiss proposed gently, she knew it was a touchy subject and she didn’t want to scare Ruby away.

“I am talking with you, though?” Ruby said, frowning.

“I meant… a specialist. Someone who knows about stuff like this. Someone who knows how to help people deal with their emotions and feelings,” Weiss suggested, readying herself to placate Ruby if she freaked out. “A therapist?”

But Ruby just fell silent, she didn’t move and say thing, chewing on her bottom lip before looking back up at Weiss.

“I-I don’t… think that’s a good idea,” She said, looking at her toes.

“It helped me…” Weiss said quietly. While she found it hard to admit, she wanted to show Ruby that it was an option she may consider.

“Y-You went to a therapist?”dark brows raised in surprise.

“Yeah… I was sheltered all my life, Ruby, only knowing my messed up family. When my father took me to Argus once, that was honestly the first time I saw the world outside of the bubble I was kept in. After I performed for one of his business associates, he went on meetings and I had free time before we got back to Atlas, so I asked to be flown to Haven. I thought touring one of the 4 great academies would be a nice reference for Atlas Academy.” Weiss started, remembering how utterly shocked she was.

“It was… I don’t even know. But it was so different. People weren’t snobby and proper. They were nice. They actually got along with each other, faunus and humans alike. And they were kind. Even to me, a Schnee. One of the faunus helped me when I dropped my purse. I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I got back. That was the moment I started questioning my father’s teachings. I found a therapist in Mantle. She told me that the world was vast and so far I was only allowed to watch it through a keyhole. She gave me the courage I needed to apply to Beacon, away from my father and his venomous influence. So yeah, I’m not sure would I be here if not for her, even if we didn’t have that many sessions.” Weiss shrugged. “I don’t know what to do, but maybe someone will.”

Ruby stayed quiet as she pondered what the heiress told her. Was it an option? Would someone understand? People would just laugh, and point fingers at her because she was a weirdo, right? But Weiss didn’t. She stayed, talked to her, reassured her, and maybe she was right? The thought of baring herself like that to some stranger was almost paralyzing, it was scary enough to admit it to her friend, but someone else entirely? She wasn’t sure she could do that.

“Ruby, like I said, I’m not sure what to do, and aside from talking to a specialist about it, I see only one other option,” Weiss said quietly, looking at her hands. “You telling Yang about this.”

Ruby felt her body stiffen. She was wrong, the notion to talk to Weiss or some random person about this was nothing compared to how terrifying confronting her sister would be.

“I-I can’t… She… She will… I…” Ruby was at a loss. If there was even an atom of a chance that she would lose Yang, she couldn’t do it.

“Ruby, do you trust her?” Weiss asked.

“Of course. With my life,” Ruby answered without hesitation.

“Then believe in her. Believe that she is going to be the person we both know she is and she will accept you no matter what,” The heiress said with certainty. She preferred not to muse how accepting exactly Yang will be, because that was a whole other universe to hopefully not consider.

“I don’t know what to do…” Ruby said, torn apart. She hated not talking with Yang about stuff. Her feelings aside, she missed her sister and she knew all she did was worrying the blonde with her behavior. But even if she trusted Yang with her life, and she would jump into fire if the blonde told her it was okay, there was still that quiet ‘What if?’ playing in her head on repeat.

“I don’t either. I don’t want to push you into anything, because I have no idea how it will work out, but I can’t think of anything else. We can maybe ask professor Goodwitch or professor Ozpin for advice, if you prefer somebody you are familiar with,” Weiss suggested. Thinking about it, they were a pretty good choice. Goodwitch seemed like a type that takes students issues seriously, and Ozpin wasn’t very judgmental. Maybe they could indeed help.

“I… Weiss, I think I should talk to Yang…” Ruby said, but she sounded almost like she wanted someone to change her mind.

“All right, you think you can do it today? Or would you rather wait? I can ask Goodwitch to give us a spare room for few nights if you want, and I can explain to Yang and Blake that you need some space for few days,” Weiss said. It felt weird, but she really didn’t want to force the young girl to do anything she didn’t feel like doing, especially since she, herself, had no idea what to do and what consequences each choice would present. Personally she believed that Ruby talking to her sister would be the best choice as she was worried about Yang as well. On the other hand, she could easily see how it could be a catastrophe of unparalleled proportions that may very well signal the end of team RWBY.

Either way, one of the lessons from her father she actually chose to take to heart was that indecision only leads to never picking the right option. And it was better to choose something and stick with it, rather than drift in this horrible limbo of Ruby avoiding everyone, Yang and Weiss freaking out, and poor Blake being left to deal with the mess.

“Like you say, right? Rip off the band-aid,” Ruby said sheepishly. She tried to downplay how terrified she was, but her shaking hands were a dead giveaway.

“I’ll call them and explain some things then. I will tell Yang to wait for you in our dorm room. We will give you some space to talk until one of you calls either me or Blake, is that okay with you?” Weiss asked, pulling her scroll out, and Ruby stiffly nodded watching her step away to make the call. The heiress was nothing if not efficient.

“Are you ready? She will be waiting for you once we get back,” Weiss asked after she was done talking with Yang, gently grabbing Ruby’s arm. Receiving a nod in return, she patiently waited. Everything was set up, and all that was left was for them to make their way back to Beacon. 

One step at a time.

* * *

The door to the dorm opened and Yang immediately jumped to her feet. “Ruby?!”

The blonde called out, seeing her sister slip in and stand awkwardly, hugging herself, gaze shifted to the side. It has been almost an hour since Yang got back to the room, and she nearly demolished the inside, barely containing her rampaging emotions. She was about to dart straight to her sister when she remembered her talk with the heiress.

_“I found her.” Weiss’s voice sounded through her scroll._

_“What?! Where?! I’m coming to your coordinates. We will be there in a second!” Yang yelled, Blake quickly appearing at her side._

_“No, stop. Wait, Yang, please!” Weiss called out._

_“What do you want? Is she okay? I swear to fucking god, Weiss...!” Yang started, anger quickly bleeding her eyes red._

_“She isn’t hurt. We talked, and she will talk with you, but you have to wait for her in our dorm room.” Weiss’s voice sounded hurried, as if she was afraid Yang will disconnect the call and start running towards their coordinates, which in all fairness was a high probability right now._

_“No, I want to see her now. I’m not going to fucking wait!” Yang seethed. She needed to see her sister, to know she was okay._

_“Yang,” Weiss said, and something in her tone made the blonde quiet. “Listen to me, please. Ruby is fine. But she is dealing with something very confusing and scary, and you have to respect that. I promise she will come to talk with you and explain everything, but you have to let her come on her own terms, okay?”_

_“Weiss…” Yang started, but she didn’t know what to say. She never heard the heiress so gravely serious and it managed to cool her down a little._

_“Please, Yang. I know how hard it is, I know. But you have to help her, you have to be calm and listen to what she has to say without interrupting her or letting your emotions through. Whatever god you have to channel to get the willpower to do that, do it now. Do it for Ruby, okay?” Weiss asked._

_“Okay.” For Ruby._

_“Now, go wait for Ruby in our dorm room, you will have to stay put once she gets there. Don’t yell at her, don’t scream, just listen. You have to give her space and I mean that in every possible way. Don’t go for a hug, don’t touch her. Let her come to you if she wishes to. She needs space and time. Can you do that for her?” Weiss’s tone was stern, but she was clearly worried about both of them._

_“I… Yeah.” It hurt. It hurt Yang that she had to be told to stay away from her sister. What the hell happened to Ruby? Whoever was responsible, they will soon be praying that they fell into a horde of rabid grimm, because when Yang finds them, nothing on Remnant will stop her from obliterating them completely._

_Nobody hurts Ruby and gets away with it. Nobody._

Yang took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, going back and taking a seat on Blake’s bed, heeding Weiss’s words and waiting for Ruby to feel comfortable to talk. She watched her sister with a soft smile to let her know she wasn’t mad and that it was okay.

Ruby threw her a few glances, but they all lasted a moment, before she averted her gaze again. She fidgeted with her fingers, bouncing slightly on her feet, and Yang realized she has never seen her sister so uncomfortable or rather… scared of something?

After few minutes, and couple deep breaths, Ruby made her way to Weiss’s bed where she dropped down, sitting awkwardly face to face with Yang. The silence was like a deafening roar in the blonde’s ears. She absolutely hated sitting down when stuff clearly needed to be done. But she promised herself she would do it for her sister, so she gathered what little self-control she had and waited patiently.

After opening and closing her mouth a few times without any sound, Ruby finally managed to find her voice, however small and unsure.

“Y-Yang, I…” She started, but her voice died down for a moment.

“It’s okay, sis. Take all the time you need. I’m here,” Yang said gently. Now that her baby sister was in front of her and starting to speak, she found it easy to tune out everything else.

“I’m sorry that I sh-shouted earlier, and what I said,” Ruby apologized.

“Hey, it doesn’t matter. Already forgotten.” Yang tried to give her an encouraging smile. “But, would you like to tell me what’s bothering you? You don’t have to. We can talk about anything you want, really.”

“No, I… I-I need to t-tell you s-something.” Ruby stuttered. She was losing confidence every second she sat here, in front of Yang. She had to say it now, otherwise she won’t ever be able to admit it.

Rip off the band-aid.

The blonde sat quietly, trying to quench the anxiety that burned her from the inside. Ruby was terrified and there was nothing she could do to soothe it. Everything she has been through, every shitty situation that happened to her. Nothing came even close to how bad Yang felt just sitting there, not being able to do even one fucking thing to make it easier for her sister.

“The-The reason I… I was acting weird all this time... it was b-because I-I was…” Ruby swallowed heavily, her mouth dry as desert sand. “Avoiding you.”

Yang felt the world stop as a sickeningly sinking feeling overtook her. She did this? She was the reason for Ruby’s distress? What the fuck did she do? When? Did she say anything offensive? Treated her badly? Her mind was going at light speed, thinking of every interaction she had with her sister at Beacon, but she couldn’t find anything. Nothing made sense for any of it. And that made her feel even worse.

Ruby was this terrified to talk with her and Yang didn’t even fucking remember what she did to make her so.

“W-What did I do?” The blonde asked, looking at her sister, eyes wide, mouth twisted in a pleading grimace.

“Oh no, no, no, no, no.” Ruby panicked, as it dawned on her that Yang now blamed herself.

She dropped to her knees and took the brawler’s hands into her own, tears shining in her silver eyes. “You didn’t do anything, Yang. It’s me.”

“Why then? Why were you avoiding me?” Yang asked, tone seeped in desperation.

“I-I….” Ruby didn’t know how to say it.

“Ruby, please. Tell me, so I can fix it. Please.” Yang begged.

“Yang, I…” Why was it so hard to admit it?

“Please,” Yang quietly asked, choking a sob.

It was the look on the blonde’s face that finally did it for the young reaper.

Telling Yang was scary, it was the scariest thing she ever had to do. But seeing her like this, blaming herself, trying to desperately figure out what was going on. It felt like Ruby’s heart was ripped out of her chest and torn to shreds while it was still beating.

“I’m in love with you.” Ruby gave a tearful smile as the words left her mouth. She let go of Yang’s arm and turned a bit to the side, not able to face her sister. Not able to face the potential frown of disgust as soon as the blonde finished processing her confession.

The silence that filled the room this time wasn’t deafening. It was heavy. It took your breath away and made you feel like you were imprisoned in a very tiny box.

Yang wasn’t processing what was just said, simply because her brain had trouble comprehending it.

Ruby. Love. Yang.

Ruby loves Yang? But Yang loves Ruby as well. That’s normal, right? But that wasn’t it. Ruby was IN love. In love with her.

IN LOVE with Yang. Oh.

Oh…

“R-Ruby, wha-what?” Yang barely managed to breathe that out.

Ruby didn’t look at her sister, whispering “I’m in love with you.” Again.

“I… I don’t, I…” Yang tried, but the words just wouldn’t come.

Ruby waited patiently, not daring to look at the blonde. Waiting in silence for the hateful words to come. For Yang to push her away with disgust, contorting her face. For all of it to fall apart.

Yang on the other hand looked at her sister, but it felt more like looking through her. And what were words again? How do you speak? What was going on? She felt her eyes water from how long she was staring, and she blinked couple times. It didn’t help make sense of any of it, but then her gaze fell back onto Ruby and she truly saw her this time.

Shoulders slumped, hands lying limp on her lap, head turned slightly, and face without any sort of expression. Silent and waiting. Yang has never seen anyone looking so defeated. But it was Ruby, her beautiful, vibrant sister. Her amazing, talented sister who bore a terrible weight of feelings for her.

For Yang.

Feelings that the blonde knew immediately she didn’t and would never reciprocate. She loved Ruby more than anything and she would do anything for her. But she simply was not able to think about her sister like that. She felt overwhelmed in a mere moment, completely buried under rubble of internal screams and conflicts.

But then she thought how Ruby had to feel with all that. How impossible was this to deal with? How fucking long her little sister has been dragging all this weight with her? It was too much for anyone, but it wasn’t the worst realization that Yang came to. The worst part was that she didn’t know how she was supposed to help. She knew the answer immediately.

She couldn’t.

There was nothing she could do. No one she could fight. Nothing she could destroy. Yang never felt so useless her entire life. There was nothing to say and nothing for her to do. She was cursed to sit there in silence, with the terrible burden of her sister’s unsolvable problem. Her sister!

Her Ruby.

Ruby, the most earnest and kind person she has ever known. Ruby who was terrified of her feelings. Ruby who thought she had to isolate herself.

Ruby who was alone.

Yang knew all about that. The paralyzing probability that you are going to be left alone. Abandoned. Was that how Ruby felt all this time? Was that the weight of every swing of Crescent Rose? Because Yang felt it before. She knew the bitter taste of knowing you weren’t wanted. The destruction that being rejected by the person who’s supposed to love you unconditionally caused.

No.

She will never let her feel that. NEVER. Even if it’s not exactly the same and she can’t do anything about what Ruby feels for her, what she can do is to not reject her. To show her that she is still and will always be her number one. Her Ruby. And nothing will ever change that.

***

Ruby wasn’t sure how much time has passed. Everything was quiet and still, and she was numb, because it was over. She did feel kind of lighter, even if she just lost her sister. But it was fine. She would accept that she will be forever alone. It’s better this way, ‘cause nobody has to force themselves to love her. That way, she can be a pathetic excuse for a huntress wandering the Remnant alone.

Her tumble through a downwards spiral was violently brought to a stop as two incredibly strong yet gentle arms wrapped around her. The warmth that Yang’s body brought her was so achingly familiar and soothing. And she shouldn’t be feeling it. The blonde was supposed to cast her aside, then leave her to wallow in emptiness of her heart where once danced a flame, strong and warm.

And yet there she was. With one embrace dispersing the shadows and clouds.

“I’m sorry, Ruby.” A teary voice reached her from above as she inhaled Yang’s soothing, strawberry smell. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t… I can’t return it.”

And Ruby shouldn’t care. Shouldn’t expect anything different, but the tears still fall.

“I love you,” Yang said quietly, her own tears dropping onto Ruby’s dark hair. And the reaper knew exactly what she meant. Because it was always going to be like that.

It’s still unbearable.

“I will always love you, and I will never abandon you. Ever!” Yang choked out. “I just can’t…”

Ruby understood and there was only thing left for her to do.

Cling to Yang for dear life and wail.

Because in the end, that’s how it was always going to be. Yang would always be there for her, and it made all the difference in the world.

But Ruby would still be alone.


End file.
